The Visual Novel Thread (Court Session Style!)

[Akeii]

Judge Akeii: Hear thee, hear thee! This court is meeting under the acting Judge Akeii, myself, to begin this case of Fate/Corrupted Equanimity vs. Visual Novels. Since this court lacks a clerk, I will also be the acting court clerk until one shows up.

Here we shall discuss Visual Novels. Being, Visual Novels you are playing, Visual Novels you wish to play, Visual Novels you have played but wished you had not, and Visual Novels you have never played nor wish to play. Visual Novels of every genre and preference. Prosecutors, you are members who will press charges on a Visual Novel on grounds of either awesomeness or uncoolness in any area. Members of the jury, you are those present who may agree or disagree but are not raising a new case.

Judge Akeii: At this time, I would ask that the jury please stand and be sworn by the court clerk.
Clerk Akeii: Thank you, my honor. I will now proceed to swear in the jury. Repeat after me:
"I swear and affirm that I will diligently inquire into and carefully deliberate all matters regarding Visual Novels. I swear and affirm that I will speak truly of my opinions in this area. Last but not least, I swear and affirm my sincere belief that blonde bun-haired swordswomen wearing armor over a dress are hot and to die for."

Judge Akeii: Ooh, I liked that last bit. Ahem... we are now ready to begin with the opening statements. Will the court clerk please call the first case?
Clerk Akeii: Yes, my honor. Um. You all can speak up now if you want.

[Ferios]

Prosecutor Ferios: The prosecution would like to call upon a... 'Witness', a Mr. Nagata Ferios, in effort to figure out exactly what it's first case will be. If you would be so kind as to take the stand, Mr. Nagata... Thank you. Witness, state your name and occupation for the court record.

Witness Ferios: Nagata Ferios. That's actually just an internet and gaming handle, you know. Would 'Visual Novel Fanatic' be good enough for an occupation?

Prosecutor Ferios: That's fine, but isn't it a little strange for a gaming handle to have a family name?

Witness Ferios: It's kind of a long story. As a child I was always teased for my strange taste in mushroom yogurt, see, so it scarred me in many ways. Then when I got older, I moved out of the porta-potty I lived in and my cat went insane. I'd keep passing out in random places and waking up with orange peelings stuck in my hair, and this one time there was a Nintendo game in a tube sock--

Prosecutor Ferios: T-that's enough. I'm afraid that question didn't really have any relevance, so let's move on before we embarrass ourself.

Witness Ferios: Aww, but it's a good story.

Prosecutor Ferios: You can tell the judge all about it after court. For now, I have a few questions. You've played quite a few visual novels, correct?

Witness Ferios: Around sixty or seventy of them, I'd say. Maybe more than that. Some of them weren't in English, but...

Prosecutor Ferios: You can play games that aren't in your own language?

Witness Ferios: Sure. Since I can't read the text, I've got to have voices to understand the story. I haven't had any classes yet, but once you expose yourself to the language for a while, reading subtitles the whole time, you pick up enough to at least not be completely in the dark about what's going on. There are even some programs that can automatically translate the text for you when it comes up on the screen, but the gibberish they sometimes spit out is more annoying than just puzzling through it based on the voiced lines. Like you'd need a translator for your translator. Mostly I play games like that for gameplay, though. Like Duel Savior. That game has such a cool battle system. Eternal Kingdom is a good candidate for a gameplay-and-vocals combo, too. Actually, any novels by GIGA or Studio e.go! would be acceptable candidates, though some are better than others.

Prosecutor Ferios: Interesting. What are your personal favorites?

Witness Ferios: Oh, favorites are easy. Ever 17 tops the list, but it will probably remain there just because it's the first one I ever seriously played. That's not saying it's not an awesome game, of course. I'm just biased toward it in addition to it's awesomeness. Second and third place favorites probably go to Tsukihime and Fate/stay night, in that order. After that it gets a bit difficult to rank them. I'd probably say Kagetsu Tohya annnnnnnnd Brave Soul. The Phoenix Wright series was pretty good, too. I've had that vibe going this entire time.

Prosecutor Ferios: I have too, actually. Please testify about what you've been playing recently.

Witness Ferios: I'm kind of between novels and trying to figure out what to play next. I recently finished Cross†Channel, which was pretty good despite having a few plot holes and a 'peaceful' as opposed to 'happy' ending. Everyone likes a happy ending, after all. Before that I was playing Lux-Pain and I'm pretty close to finishing my first run through it. Chances are I won't be playing it again for other endings, unfortunately. The story and setting are pretty cool, but the translators butchered it so much that it's extremely hard to understand. I suspect they weren't even English themselves. What's worse is that the game obviously never underwent any editing or proofreading processes. The few voiced lines the game has don't even match up with the text on the screen. It may have been great in Japan, but the localization crippled any playability it had. The title is strangely fitting because of that.

Prosecutor Ferios: Well, that's enough for the moment. The prosecution is realizing that it still doesn't have a clear case yet, so we'll open it up for the rest of the court to speak again. You may return to your seat for the time being, Mr. Nagata.